I gotta tell ya, man, I'm getting incredibly tired of the whole spirit animal concept. I've been thinking about this for a long time now, and it never fails to irritate me every time I delve back into the mud. Let me explain with a little more context: There are people, if you can call them that, who go around and have a deep, almost sexual, obsession with one particular animal. You see this a lot with teenaged girls and pop artists, but the manifestation happens to be infinitely creepier when it shows up in the form of some sort of weird zoomer animal totemism.

Another example: One time, I knew a woman who made it her life goal to identify with a raccoon. She was so obsessed with the creature, she would spend time watching them and their every move, in the park, just to get a better feel for what kind of animal it was (big surprise, they stink). She would watch hours of YouTube videos detailing everything from raccoon sounds to Canadian men feeding raccoons. It was borderline Freudian, I think she wanted to have sex with a man-raccoon. I don't think that she would have necessarily committed the act of bestiality, but it is worthwhile to mention that fursonas are a thing.

Now, let's talk about the main point of this post: If you feel an enthusiastic need to identify yourself, your persona, your actions, or anything else about you with some sort of animal, of any kind, be it a pawed or winged beast, I have deep suspicions about your motivations and your mental stability. You might as well be saying "I'm a vampire!" or "I'm a werewolf!" and I'd say you're not even being entirely honest with yourself. You wouldn't WANT to be an animal, even if you could be. You wouldn't want to be a raccoon, because mountain lions are even worse to their prey than factory farms are to ours. You happily use the toilet and wipe your ass, and a raccoon cannot even do that. You would not be able to survive, let alone be happy, if you were in the wild as a wild animal. You would be enslaved to your baser urges, which Jesus Himself helped us move on from.

You are an atavist, no better than some reminiscent goon who fawns over the early days of National Socialism. You are like a pagan, but without the noble heritage from which the pagans came. You are no better than a sicko if you get off the stuffed animals fucking, or any sort of ursine fetish, be it physical or not. You are no better than Ed Gein, who so loved man that he sought to wear a fursuit of his skin.

Do you realize this? Are you capable of grappling with the sins that you have collaborated to infest the world with? If you are in fact involved with making animal parts into some fursuit, or if you have a big stuffed animal in your room on which you frott out your innermost longings, then I have to say I would not be welcoming you into my Home Owners Association any time soon. And you can just live with that. Very nasty!