ive been arrested a handful of times, all for non-violent victimless crimes. its fuckin gay. i hate being arrested, there is no worse feeling than knowing u are not free to go do whatever u want, that a bunch of strangers have taken u away because u wouldnt give them money somewhere down the line or didnt show up to their shakedown appointment at their headquarters. so what did i do about it? i started watchin COPS on tv. since watching COPS, ive stopped being arrested because they dont even pull me over. i have spent nearly my entire adult life driving with no license and no registration, and i havent been pulled over since watchin COPS. see, when u watch COPS a lot, the cops on the show will tell u why they are pullin someone over, and u can understand the cops mentality and what they are searching for. so here are my tricks to evade getting in the police crosshair

first, this is all assuming u are driving around daily where u live. maybe u got a warrant out, maybe u got no registration or license, maybe ur sellin weed. if u are doing these things in a place u are unfamiliar with, u only have 1 option and thats to drive perfectly like a grandma. dont even go 5mph over speed limit, make sure u signal all lane changes, completely stop at stop signs, dont have any lights out, etc.

so the first thing u wanna do is always ride in the right-most lane unless u absolutely need to be in a left lane. if u ever see a police officer ahead of u, or maybe one that has pulled in a few cars behind u, then u need to take the very next right hand turn (as long as it is not on a major artery road/interstate). police driving around are usually just bored guys with nothing to do and theyre lookin for someone being suspicious. u want to be in a police officers observable view for the shortest amount of time. when u see one ahead, its always best to turn before u even get to him. however, if this isnt an option, u want to turn into the very next business plaza, walmart, side street, apartment complex, whatever. use ur turn signal correctly, dont swerve into the place, drive like ur supposed to be going there. wait for the police to go past u, and then resume ur driving. its very probable that the guy didnt even notice u, unless ur car has obnoxious bumper stickers or somethin else that makes it ridiculous and stand out. u shouldnt be doing anything illegal in something like that anyway dipshit, u dont need me to tell u that.

however, if u turn onto a small side street or a gas station or apartment complex or whatever, and the police officer follows u in, u probably did somethin to get his attention to start with, and now ur gonna be in trouble. dont do that lol

rly thats actually it, just use right hand turns. they are always the quickest turn u can make and they are always available to make without u having to stop. u always want to be moving when ur in a car doing something illegal. the safest spot for an illegal car is on private non-public property (ur house, ur appt, somewhere police wont just walk up to like walmart parking lot or whatever), so that means u want to maximize ur time there, and minimize ur time driving. when u see a cop on the road, unless he is facing and traveling the opposite direction of u, u must being to start working evasive maneuvering to not even let him behind ur car. u also want to minimize this time, which is why u want to make the fastest turns, a right hand turn. making 3 right hand turns produces a square on the map, 4 right hand turns puts u back at the starting point. if u make 3 immediate right hand turns and theres still a cop behind u, u just gonna have to floor it dawg lol cuz hes lookin to get u. only use this 3 right hand turn thing to figure out if u are really being pre-pursued.

good luck dont let the DGB (dem gotcha boys) get u, trap or die